The All Powerful Empire of EAsprts is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Harold Maguire with an even hand, and notable for its irreverence towards religion, punitive income tax rates, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.426 billion EAsportsians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Messnaldo. The average income tax rate is 67.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming EAsportsian economy, worth 118 trillion Dinars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 82,922 Dinars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Political visitors are forced to stop ten paces from Harold Maguire's throne, police officers often head to work wearing onesies and fluffy pink bunny-slippers, the government has enacted freedom of information, and teenage girls worry that they'll be unpopular if their skirts aren't short enough. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. EAsprts's national animal is the Ghost Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is None.

EAsprts is ranked 12,208^th in the world and 112^th in Europeia for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 54.76 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.