The Holy Cat-loving Republic of Portogala is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Antonio de Oliveira Salazar with a fair hand, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, public floggings, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 4.05 billion Portogalans enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Salazaria. The average income tax rate is 85.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Portogalan economy, worth 749 trillion escudoes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 185,098 escudoes, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The national colors help to make everyone look slimmer, one-man canoes fitted with the latest tracking technology leave no room for one man, weekends are spent tilting at windmills, and citizens are bankrupted by injuries to cousins they've never met. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Portogala's national animal is the squid, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Roman Catholicism.

Portogala is ranked 3,370^th in the world and 2^nd in Union of Kenora for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 64.41 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.