The Holy Lucky Pink Christmas of Woodlands is a huge, cultured nation, renowned for its soft-spoken computers, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 765 million Cyrinics are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Murky Camp Harbour. The average income tax rate is 78.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Cyrinic economy, worth 101 trillion gold bars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is dominated by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 132,868 gold bars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Elementary school students are required to master Bach's Chaconne in D before graduation, consumption of cat memes has skyrocketed, students are known to arrive at school in their pyjamas, and alien kidnappings of both cattle and humans are headline news on the most respected papers (Woodlands has found 4 easter eggs). Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Woodlands's national animal is the Rudolph bat, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Woodlands is ranked 56,052^nd in the world and 311^th in Europe for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 3,909.52 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.