The Jetro-Yankgarian Empire of Lointland is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Juaaron Jusotodgers with an even hand, and remarkable for its aversion to nipples, absence of drug laws, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 6.038 billion Lointians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Verdanna. The average income tax rate is 67.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Lointian economy, worth 474 trillion Consortieors a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving, Book Publishing, and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 78,541 Consortieors, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Juaaron Jusotodgers has declared a weed sticking through a crack in the sidewalk to be the nation's newest green space, Juaaron Jusotodgers is generally seen as a know-it-all (Lointland has found 1 easter egg), saying "don't do anything that Juaaron Jusotodgers wouldn't do" doesn't exclude a great deal, and all new "spies" are fifteen-year-old acne-ridden kids on computers. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lointland's national animal is the Yankee Doodle, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Lointland is ranked 23,282^nd in the world and 524^th in The East Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 52.91 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.