The United Nations of Opiachus is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Secretary-General Lee with an even hand, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, pith helmet sales, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 8.705 billion Opians enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The medium-sized, liberal, pro-business government prioritizes Education, although Defense, Industry, and Social Policy are also considered important, while Spirituality and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Opiachus. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 34.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Opian economy, worth a remarkable 1,123 trillion dollars a year, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 129,059 dollars, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 719,506 per year while the poor average 11,557, a ratio of 62.3 to 1.

Grannies get pulled over for knitting pullovers while driving, city budgets are spent entirely on supporting the town royalty, citizens are remarkably well involved in the political process, and the hit new medical TV show "Home" prominently features the brand of painkiller the lead doctor is addicted to. Crime, especially youth-related, is a major problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Opiachus's national animal is the dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Opiachus is ranked 270,578^th in the world and 18^th in Free Market Federation for Safest, scoring 9.96 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.