The Free Union of Tymus is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Stanislaw Phlyacehawlder with an even hand, and remarkable for its compulsory military service, frequent executions, and aversion to nipples. The compassionate population of 13.221 billion Tymusians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Olthall. The average income tax rate is 72.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Tymusian economy, worth 689 trillion thoms a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 52,147 thoms, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Nothing gets the party jumping like Stanislaw Phlyacehawlder specifying how high, prolonged government investigations are a common revenge tactic among spurned significant others, travelers are subject to extensive searches if beet stains are visible on their clothing, and government negotiators never forget to say "pretty please" when begging for custody of its criminals. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tymus's national animal is the Tymusian herding horse, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Tymus is ranked 280,497^th in the world and 799^th in 10000 Islands for Most Patriotic, with 0.51 flags saluted per person per day.