The District of Yamoussoukro is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, notable for its rum-swilling pirates, barren, inhospitable landscape, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 30.046 billion Yamoussoukroans enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The minute, liberal, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is solely concerned with Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Yamoussoukro. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Yamoussoukroan economy, worth a remarkable 5,416 trillion xofs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Soda Sales, Gambling, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 180,272 xofs, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,665,613 per year while the poor average 1,915, a ratio of 869 to 1.

Major polluting industries have painted a lot of their machines green to give an impression of caring about the environment, people experiencing anaphylactic shock are told to buck their ideas up, both diets and economic output are growing leaner with recent restrictions to free trade, and soldiers are now trained how to make sandwiches properly. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Yamoussoukro's national animal is the lion, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Yamoussoukro is ranked 281,750^th in the world and 10,457^th in Balder for Nicest Citizens, with 0.34 average smiles per day.