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*A OAFNN regular segment, "Consulting The Man On The Street" aired regarding this matter*
Faith Airwater, a local hippy
"Man, this is morally wrong," The hippy says, while taking a puff on her joint. "This beautiful creature is helping feed millions of starving Osajians! These rats deserve a medal!"
Andre Guiliania, Islandsian 'businessman'
"Look, I don't mean to judge, but are these Edmundians even capitalist. I mean, we're socialist, and we've already managed to make billions with this rat trade to Osajia, capiche. Sure, we'll redistribute the wealth to the proletariat, but still."
Vice Sage Scott Morrison
"All of this is true, but that doesn't mean Great Edmundia doesn't have the right to exterminate these wretched creatures. As a muy malo (it totally means "very good") politician, I cannot condone any action other than companionship for their choice."
Anton Fochi, Director of Vaccine Devolpment
"Ok, so. While these rats might not be the vaccine we were looking for, there are only protections for natural species. What I mean is, we created this species. That means we can do whatever we want with them! As such, let's gather them up, and test all sorts of things that would be reprehensible to do to a NATURAL species."
Great Edmundia, Liki islands, and Opressea
I hereby declare war against every nation in the Empire. Come destroy me! I might be a baby nation compared to all of you, but I'm ready to destroy the world! Let's get my nuclear pogrom I mean program off the ground and we can all be oppressed in a nuclear apocalypse! Yaaaaay!
Great Edmundia and Osajia
Kinda busy currently lol... I can't participate in a war with a tiny island nation on the other side of the world when I'm in the middle of a 4-sided civil war.
Huh... I thought my nation was the only nudist only nation. I know it's kinda weird in an Arab-themed nation. And those sun burns, oh those sun burns. But it was my nation's thing. It was what we were best at. Then Lava Guava comes in here, begins enforces nudity, and apparently does it far better than I did. Rude.
There have already been numerous reports of automatic gunfire being heard in the national parks surrounding Gladesopolis, armoured vehicles moving into the parks and campsites being overtaken by military personnel. The Great Edmundian Environmental Protection Agency has released a press statement claiming the activity is due to an "ongoing environmental management operation involving the National Guard Bureau" in the area.
Islandsian military forces are in control of 90% of the rogue island, after an extended 2 month long campaign. Opressean forces are on the run, and are retreating into war-torn Osajia to set up an illegitimate government-in-exile. This could have long term consequences of creating a fifth side to the already chaotic civil war.
-Meanwhile in the Islands-
Good afternoon today, I'm Raychel Meadows from OAFNN. At the moment, we're tracking the overnight billion dollar industry of rat farming! Due to loopholes in Islandsian legal codes, these rats can be farmed with no regard to typical regulation of the farming indsutry. The industry is now worth about 760 billion Wealth Tokens, and is set to eclipse the 1 trillion mark soon. The Great Edmundians on the other hand are showing their true socialist colors by squandering this wonderful business opportunity. Shame on them. Next, after this commercial break, the scientist that successfully taught a gorilla, through sign language, that it will soon die of cancer. Stay with us!
The collective warlords fighting in this conflict say, "Awwww shi-"
Of altonianic islands and Great Edmundia
Due to the collapsing Osajian economy, all sides of the conflict have agreed to change the national currency to what every other former colony of the Islands is; the Wealth Token. This has already increased the economic outlook by 31.8 percent! The abandonment of the Osajese Truth Royal means that there are only two accepted currencies in the entirety of the Empire; The Islandsian Wealth Token, and the Great Edmundian Royal. Latest going rates are 1.03 Great Edmundian Royals to 1 Islandsian Wealth Token
Of altonianic islands and Great Edmundia
Does that mean none of you will accept my currency? How dare you!
The Opressean leader Cruella de Vil has begun setting up a military encampment in the far south of Osajia. She has begun a genocidal spree with some spare concentration camps she had lying around.
I don't know how hard this would be, but could you update the map Great Edmundia? It's a little . . . shall I be diplomatic . . . out of date. Keep the original as "ancient" Edmundia, but updating the map to be more modern would be appreciated.
Meanwhile, more concerns about safety have emerged from the military operation being conducted in Sable Valley National Park. Police were called to a family home around 1am this morning when one of their windows was shattered by bullets. A ballistics report compiled by the Gladesopolis Sheriff's Department later concluded the casings came from a military M4A1 rifle. The National Guard has released a statement saying that the incident occurred because a soldier mistook the family dog for a mutated rat. More to come.
Great Edmundia Prime Minister Nagel Pallet has expressed concern that Wealth Tokens are more valuable than Great Edmundian Royals. In his words, "Nobody out-values OUR Royals, dagnabbit!" As such, he has ordered an immediate crackdown on counterfeiting and a moratorium on currency production in order to control inflation.
I'll try my best...might not be ready for a while though.
The Heptagon has responded to these latest developments by mobilising even more forces. The Imperial Navy's Seventh Fleet has been dispatched and is currently moving towards Osajia to assist with "peacekeeping".
Along with the ongoing peacekeeping missions in Voteria, the medical deployments to Altonianic Islands to assist with virus recovery and the deployments within the Mother Country itself to assist local authorities with COVID response, this represents the largest Imperial Armed Forces mobilisation since the Dynasty Wars.
The Communist Presidium of North Osajia has renamed itself to the Communist Presidium of Minosa. Minosa was historically an ancient civilization that was destroyed roughly three thousand years ago by Yikestopia; however, more recently, 870 years ago, when the Islandsian Empire was at its height, Minosa was the name of a sizeable tract of land on the same continent. It was given to the Yikestopians amid the fall of the Islandsian Empire. Now, a continent away in a war torn desert, it is reborn!
OOC; This is Osajia. Of Altonianic Islands allowed me to take this nation, since he hasn't been doing anything with it. I know you all are confused about me tying my economy to the Islands, what with me being an independent player and all, but it's all in the spirit of RP.
(I see)
Seeing as this new government is Communist, the Imperial Government has immediately moved to sanction it economically, taking the Edmundian foreign policy mantra of "Better Dead than Red" to heart.
Thanks!
The Islandsian government has expressed a desire to negotiate this peacefully, in order to have Great Edmundian Royals and Islandsian Wealth Tokens cost exactly the same, in order to make currency exchanges easier.
In a final push earlier this morning, at 9:34 AM, Islandsian forces have taken the last parts of the Isle of Opression. Now, the coalition military force consisting of former Islandsian colonies is headed to Osajia, to support the rightful East Osajian government.
(You're current PM has been Prime Minister for quite a while... would you like to RP an Edmundian general election, where Mr. Pallet loses/wins?)
I've been lying to you all. I'm not a middle aged Canadian-Frenchmen who moved to the US. I am, in fact, a 16 year old Tunisian belly dancer.
Here's a video of my latest performance.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1sF9veTzuU
Great Edmundia and Osajia
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