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I'd be a lot warmer and a lot happier with a bellyful of mead...
They say Ulfric Stormcloak murdered the High King... with his voice! Shouted him apart!
Disrespect the law, and you disrespect me.
Fear not. Come Dragon or Giant, we'll be ready.
Did some one stole your sweet roll
*gets stopped by guard*
Guard: I recognize you! You probably committed crimes, sometime... at some point.
Dragonborn: Dude, can't you just let me go? I was about to go kill a dragon that's going to burn down your city.
*Dragon roars and shadow is seen on guards and dragonborn*
Dragonborn: Okay, that's... not even the same dragon I was talking about... Look, can we just uh... "make a deal"
Guard: Oh.. ooohh…! I see what you mean!
Dragonborn: I think you DON'T
*cut to Dragonborn selling a bunch of guard outfits at a shop* Just gimme anything, i gotta get going.
(1) Thank you Card added to inventory.
*Dragonborn walks out of shop to go kill dragons*
Shopkeep: *sniff sniff* Aw, they s**t themselves...
Senile scribbles fan I see.
Yes I am.
Guard: I saw you pluck that from the main hall!
Dragonborn: *holding a flower* What, you mean this? I didn't realize it was stealing, it's just a flower.
Time to trap Oohdaviing. Talks to guard.
Guard: Wait I know you
Dragonborn: You're making a mistake...
Guard: There's no mistake. You're a wanted man and it's type to pay for your cri-
*gets snatched by oohdaviing and thrown off WHiterun*
Not from senile scribbles but its still funny.
Being a part of the Dark Brotherhood i always hear
Random guard:I know who you are hail sithis
Or my favorite because I'm a kahjit vampire
Everyone i walk by:your skin in pale are you afraid of sunlight?
*runs into Whiterun being chased by a homicidal giant*
Me: FECKING HELP ME FFS!
Guards: *does nothing*
Me: HELP MEEE- *gets launched into space by giant*
Khajiit: -_-
Brotherhood for life and Snowylan
I tend to have downguard and Guards chasing me because 1 i have a skyrim wide bounty on my head and 2 downguard wants me dead
Don't you dare slander the holy desert race of Elsweyr
Disabilities mate plus that word is in my hard to understand level lol
It's a cool race i always join DB as them
Without them, I can barely spell and read it
My problem is, how can you see if my skin is pale, WHEN I'M COVERED IN FUR.
700hrs
Post self-deleted by Brotherhood for life.
Dang my hours are above 900 hours if I'm reading my data right I'm a evil cat 😈😈
True I'm still trying to figure that out myself
Plus, most cats' skin under the fur is just pale-ish naturally, right?
Lol i think so XD
I tend to ignore thinking much since i have a huge target on my head for murder of 100+ guards in all holds killing people because mother told me and downguard wants me dead for being a vampire 😆 i have been growing my wanted status by killing more guards and people
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