by Max Barry

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The Most Scientifically Advanced in the South Pacific

World Census researchers quantified national scientific advancement by quizzing random citizens about quantum chromodynamics, space-time curvature and stem cell rejuvenation therapies. Responses based on Star Trek were discarded.

As a region, the South Pacific is ranked 5,276th in the world for Most Scientifically Advanced.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Eternal Misfortune of Pencil Sharpeners 2Father Knows Best State Suspiciously Conservative Democracy“Stop Reading My Motto!”
2.The Free Land of PrivatoreInoffensive Centrist Democracy Fascists“Desperate, but not helpless.”
3.The Seafood Paradise of KohrArCompulsory Consumerist State Consumerist Wage Drones“With oysters we thrive!”
4.The Hive of DelthorensdaleLeft-Leaning College State Paradise“Nurture.”
5.The Unified Lands of RestartAllInoffensive Centrist Democracy Fascists“Embrace the Unknown”
6.The Republic of Kiasu-ismDemocratic Socialists Ordinary Caring Intelligent World Citizens“Kiasi, Kiabor, and most importantly... Kiasu!”
7.The Armed Republic of SprinklerCorporate Police State Halliburton“To rule and opress”
8.The Incorporated Entity of Harmonious PaperclipsIron Fist Consumerists Imperialist Pig Dog Oppressors“Insufficient experience to get experience”
9.The Armed Republic of Crazed monkiesDemocratic Socialists Ordinary Caring Intelligent World Citizens“Vote monkey, get monkey”
10.The Commonwealth of United States of VietnamLeft-wing Utopia Utopia“We're not Việt Cộng”
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