The Queendom of Celdonie is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Chancellor Carla Von Hesse PCP with an even hand, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, ubiquitous missile silos, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 32.903 billion Celdonians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bagatelle. The average income tax rate is 69.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Celdonian economy, worth a remarkable 3,563 trillion Celdo ₵s a year, is highly specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 108,307 Celdo ₵s, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Crowds of flag-burning protesters tend to accidentally become crowds of burning protesters, parents giddily refuse to pay their toddlers' medical bills, primetime re-runs of The Black and White Minstrel Show are a critical hit, and people accuse the government of being in bed with Big Safety. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Celdonie's national animal is the Polar Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Celdonie is ranked 2,793^rd in the world and 3^rd in Commonwealth of Liberty for Most Beautiful Environments, with 3,132.27 pounds of wildlife per square mile.