The Empire of Kezzys is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Emperor Caesar with an even hand, and notable for its anti-smoking policies, absence of drug laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 8.037 billion Kezzysians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Constantinople. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Kezzysian economy, worth a remarkable 1,461 trillion Euros a year, is quite specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Basket Weaving, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 181,826 Euros, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

In musicals everybody's a little bit racist, administrative districts are increasingly defined by their taste in housing architecture, citizens can only enjoy the splendor of the natural world in designated 'Majesty Appreciation' zones, and people across the world seek to be healthier by eliminating carbs. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kezzys's national animal is the Gorilla, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Judaism.

Kezzys is ranked 4,567^th in the world and 9^th in The League for Safest, scoring 132.36 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.