The Bar on the corner of every regionBoard

The weekend poetry contest has ended. Now we await judgement from Brocklandia.

New swaraelia wrote:

<literally dead>

I'd resurrect if I were you or you might become the special. I can help you out - for a small fee, of course.

Pokes head through a portal - Turns all the Bar's water into wine, because why not?🤷🏻‍♂️

The Jedi-Zombi Jezus wrote:

Pokes head through a portal - Turns all the Bar's water into wine, because why not?🤷🏻‍♂️

Well, terrific. Now you get to be the one to explain to the boss why our water bill just quadrupled.

Brocklandia wrote:

Well, terrific. Now you get to be the one to explain to the boss why our water bill just quadrupled.

I have looked all over this bar, turned on every faucet, by which I meant my drones did that, and I have never noted any water here. The only genuine water is in this flask I have, which is now wine.

Pulls out a flask and starts to drink from it.

Jehovahs witness wrote:

I have looked all over this bar, turned on every faucet, by which I meant my drones did that, and I have never noted any water here. The only genuine water is in this flask I have, which is now wine.

Pulls out a flask and starts to drink from it.

Did you check the toilets? Those, I believe, used to run on water, before it got turned to wine and the other customers started drinking from 'em. Which is probably more sanitary than the wine we serve in glasses, come to think of it.

Brocklandia wrote:

Did you check the toilets? Those, I believe, used to run on water, before it got turned to wine and the other customers started drinking from 'em. Which is probably more sanitary than the wine we serve in glasses, come to think of it.

Ohh, we've checked the toilets. They never ran on water.

*A zombie hauls away Spereta*

Zombie Penguins wrote:

*A zombie hauls away Spereta*

I eat the zombie

Zombie Penguins wrote:

The weekend poetry contest has ended. Now we await judgement from Brocklandia.

Let's see: only one poetry submission included a bribe, and one even included a thinly veiled insult to my prowess as a worker--accurate, but hey!

So, let's proceed with this week's results.

Zombie Penguins gets this week's honorable mention. While hir poem could be taken as a swipe at me, I prefer instead to focus on how important ZP implies I personally am to the Bar's greatness:

The bar can be great
If Brock ever does hir job
Which isn't often.

Pax Nerdvana, Jehovahs witness, and East berlin state all turned in strong entries, so they collectively share third place. Thanks and congrats to each of you!

While technically not submitted as a poem, the following comment from Timetraveler republics has a certain poetic force and therefore takes second place. This one has almost everything, folks--a lament, the epic sweep of the passage of time, and latent alcoholism.

Well , I can't come back in time.
Now may I have another drink?

Which brings us to this week's winner, a sweeping ode to life in the Bar that lacks only a mention of Cthulhu to be perfection. Congratulations to our winner, New swaraelia!

This is the bar on the corner of all the regions,
A marvel to behold,
For there is everything from 1860 vodka enthusiasts to temporarily excavated
Bodies and no rules to uphold.
Payment seems to be optional
As death is a daily occurrence.
There’s literally a goddamn zombie
And that’s only the last few RMB pages concurrent
So this is the bar on the corner of all the regions
Please have a scone and stay
For let’s be honest-you’re certainly not upon us
To have any good goddamn taste
(slides dubious scone)

And, uhm, thanks for the bribe scone.

Thanks, everybody!

Brocklandia wrote:

-Snip-

Let's see: only one poetry submission included a bribe, and one even included a thinly veiled insult to my prowess as a worker--accurate, but hey!

So, let's proceed with this week's results.

Zombie Penguins gets this week's honorable mention. While hir poem could be taken as a swipe at me, I prefer instead to focus on how important ZP implies I personally am to the Bar's greatness:

The bar can be great
If Brock ever does hir job
Which isn't often.

Pax Nerdvana, Jehovahs witness, and East berlin state all turned in strong entries, so they collectively share third place. Thanks and congrats to each of you!

While technically not submitted as a poem, the following comment from Timetraveler republics has a certain poetic force and therefore takes second place. This one has almost everything, folks--a lament, the epic sweep of the passage of time, and latent alcoholism.

Well , I can't come back in time.
Now may I have another drink?

Which brings us to this week's winner, a sweeping ode to life in the Bar that lacks only a mention of Cthulhu to be perfection. Congratulations to our winner, New swaraelia!

This is the bar on the corner of all the regions,
A marvel to behold,
For there is everything from 1860 vodka enthusiasts to temporarily excavated
Bodies and no rules to uphold.
Payment seems to be optional
As death is a daily occurrence.
There’s literally a goddamn zombie
And that’s only the last few RMB pages concurrent
So this is the bar on the corner of all the regions
Please have a scone and stay
For let’s be honest-you’re certainly not upon us
To have any good goddamn taste
(slides dubious scone)

And, uhm, thanks for the bribe scone.

Thanks, everybody!

Don't Count Your Boobies Until They're Hatched!

Congratulations New swaraelia. You now have the option of judging next weekend's poetry contest. You're allowed to choose a poetry style and theme. Let us know.