The Empire of 911 is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by elbirdo with an iron fist, and remarkable for its state-planned economy, compulsory military service, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 3.119 billion 911ians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Administration, and Industry also on the agenda, while Welfare isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Phoenix Haven. The average income tax rate is 77.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient 911ian economy, worth 477 trillion bottleses of vodca a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 153,097 bottleses of vodca, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Every school is receiving a brand new eraser, concussed dinosaurball players cannot remember their lineup position, foreign leaders who don't applaud elbirdo's speeches are regarded as enemies of 911, and people transfer their assets to bank accounts in Manamana before getting divorced. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. 911's national animal is the dinosaur, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is alcoholism.

911 is ranked 317,692^nd in the world and 4^th in Nikara for Nicest Citizens, with 0.48 average smiles per day.