The Kingdom of Aldhelm is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Madgod Dam Dog with an even hand, and notable for its parental licensing program, compulsory military service, and compulsory gun ownership. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 1.542 billion Aldhelmians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Old Sheoth. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 73.0%.

The all-consuming Aldhelmian economy, worth 164 trillion struck coins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, quite specialized black market in Trout Farming, Tourism, Information Technology, and Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 106,464 struck coins, with the richest citizens earning 6.8 times as much as the poorest.

Elderly prisoners with severe dementia are reminded hourly that they are evil people by helpful nurse-wardens, not all rivers run to the sea, political visitors are forced to stop ten paces from Madgod Dam Dog's throne, and the mob vote is a crucial electoral demographic. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Aldhelm's national animal is the harpy eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Aldhelm is ranked 80,827^th in the world and 33^rd in The Northern Cheek for Highest Poor Incomes, with 37,547.94 Standard Monetary Units.