The Federal Republic of Alpenburg is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by the Federal Council with a fair hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, daily referendums, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 21.838 billion Alpenburgers hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Public Transport, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bern. The average income tax rate is 54.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Alpenburger economy, worth a remarkable 2,084 trillion francs a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 95,447 francs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Tourists outnumber citizens two to one, companies struggle to cover for the hordes of employees on parental leave, criminals and college students are taking an interest in the government's new weed-killing program, and euthanasia is legal. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Alpenburg's national animal is the eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Alpenburg is ranked 16,049^th in the world and 12^th in Gay Equality for Safest, scoring 116.03 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.