The Empire of Alphalos is a colossal, efficient nation, notable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, smutty television, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate population of 5.714 billion Alphalosians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kamajari. The average income tax rate is 51.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Alphalosian economy, worth 578 trillion Ruby coins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 101,254 Ruby coins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Students do more community service than homework, foreign governments are threatened if they so much as mention the word "election", elementary school students are required to master Bach's Chaconne in D before graduation, and lawyers turn down litigation cases and corporate work in order to focus on lucrative public defence work. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Alphalos's national animal is the Nile Crocodile, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Alphalos is ranked 43,723^rd in the world and 2,682^nd in Osiris for Lowest Crime Rates, with 76.22 law-abiding acts per hour.