The Old Glory of AS Monaco is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Prince Albert II with an iron fist, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, national health service, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 36.816 billion AS Monacoans are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Monaco. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 2.0%.

The frighteningly efficient AS Monacoan economy, worth a remarkable 6,581 trillion casinos a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Gambling, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 178,776 casinos, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 993,369 per year while the poor average 16,128, a ratio of 61.6 to 1.

It's a miracle that there aren't more plane crashes, heartwarming sentiments are even hotter now, attempted suicide is punishable by public hanging, and Prince Albert II's office has a newly installed Max-Man arcade game programmed by a 5th-grader. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. AS Monaco's national animal is the gambler, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

AS Monaco is ranked 72,342^nd in the world and 1^st in Monaco for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 3,976.11 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.