The Free Land of Asfaloth is a mammoth, genial nation, renowned for its enslaved workforce, digital currency, and suspicion of poets. The compassionate, democratic population of 8.873 billion Asfalothians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Administration. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 26.0%.

The powerhouse Asfalothian economy, worth 662 trillion Hays a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 74,658 Hays, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 254,828 per year while the poor average 16,095, a ratio of 15.8 to 1.

Counselors have to sign pledges supporting gay rights before they can speak to any patients, military barracks resemble five-star hotels, many suspect that the 'Whinny The Plop' children's magazine contains covert criticism of Leader, and police officers that upset their bosses get assigned to 24 hour stakeouts of bike sheds. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Asfaloth's national animal is the Horse, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Asfaloth is ranked 14,185^th in the world and 2^nd in Lindon for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 5,528.39 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.