The Armed Republic of Awalltown is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Augustus with an even hand, and renowned for its triple-decker prams, strictly enforced bedtime, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 3.57 billion Awalltownians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Poopytown. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 55.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Awalltownian economy, worth 555 trillion doubloons a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 155,528 doubloons, with the richest citizens earning 7.9 times as much as the poorest.

Road signs are getting harder to read under layers of knitted woolen cardigans, all fantasy fiction has officially been deemed non-canon, meat-eating is frowned upon, and ambitious "businessmen" use their children to sell and advertise their products. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Awalltown's national animal is the Crab, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Lutheranism.

Awalltown is ranked 18,469^th in the world and 1,215^th in Balder for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 69,676.59 Standard Monetary Units.