The Beans on Toast of Beans on Toast 1 is a colossal, orderly nation, notable for its zero percent divorce rate, compulsory military service, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 6.972 billion Beans on Toast 1ians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 69.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Beans on Toast 1ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,060 trillion Cards a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Tourism. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 152,159 Cards, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Happiness is all being miserable together, aggravated apostrophe abusers are admonished and assaulted, Leader's former secretary was last sighted on her new yacht, and the government believes there is no problem that raising taxes won't fix. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Beans on Toast 1's national animal is the Raven, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities.

Beans on Toast 1 is ranked 65,299^th in the world and 179^th in Memeland United for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring 3,251.19 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.