The Kingdom of Birchwood is a massive, safe nation, ruled by King Charles III with an even hand, and renowned for its compulsory military service, frequent executions, and stringent health and safety legislation. The quiet, industrious population of 1.799 billion Birchwoodians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sprucetown. The average income tax rate is 71.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Birchwoodian economy, worth 112 trillion Pounds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Information Technology, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 62,691 Pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Entire provinces are populated solely by nuclear missile technicians and military police, foreigners with shady pasts are fleeing the country, the right to free speech is being drastically curtailed, and burning yourself alive is not okay but starving and whipping yourself is fine. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Birchwood's national animal is the Tiger, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Christianity.

Birchwood is ranked 247,006^th in the world and 9,264^th in Balder for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -7.35 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.