The Empire of Bistrostan is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Leader with an even hand, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, compulsory military service, and smutty television. The hard-nosed population of 36.484 billion Bistrostanians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government prioritizes Education, although Healthcare, Environment, and Administration are also considered important, while Spirituality and Defense aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bistrostan City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Bistrostanian economy, worth an astonishing 15,916 trillion drachmas a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Information Technology, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 436,253 drachmas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A widely accepted trade policy is "tit-for-tat", the nation is known as the cheapskates of The GameFAQs Forum, advertisers are struggling to make water sound cool to a twitchy public, and businesses are forced to bring all work back within the nation's borders. Crime is totally unknown. Bistrostan's national animal is the cheetah, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Bistrostan is ranked 127,550^th in the world and 1^st in The GameFAQs Forum for Most Politically Free, scoring 54.29 on the Diebold Election Inking Scale.