The Grand Duchy of Satilynia is a huge, orderly nation, notable for its smutty television, compulsory military service, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 280 million Satilynians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Welfare, and Defense. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 9.4%.

The very strong Satilynian economy, worth 17.3 trillion Satalinas a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports, Arms Manufacturing, and Information Technology. Average income is 61,921 Satalinas, with the richest citizens earning 9.7 times as much as the poorest.

The Ministry of Truthiness now manages the entire media industry, going on a diet invalidates your passport, the Satilynian Intelligence Agency has put 'Project Quantum Refrigerator' on hold indefinitely, and fearful citizens watch their every move as does their government. Crime is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Satilynia's national animal is the Kinkajou, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Satilynia is ranked 207,500^th in the world and 3,818^th in the South Pacific for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring -2.8 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.