The Free Land of Brainwashed Americans is a colossal, safe nation, ruled by Rachael Maddow with an even hand, and renowned for its rum-swilling pirates, irreverence towards religion, and suspicion of poets. The quiet, industrious population of 4.5 billion Brainwashed Americansians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sacramento. The average income tax rate is 21.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Brainwashed Americansian economy, worth 177 trillion Worthless Paper Dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Basket Weaving, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 39,493 Worthless Paper Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Cheese lovers have a case of the bleus, kids are taught in schools to argue with their parents, the government considers the rising number of McRonald's fast food restaurants to be great progress, and Rachael Maddow has just been declared ruler of Brainwashed Americans in an international press conference. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Brainwashed Americans's national animal is the Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Brainwashed Americans is ranked 254,291^st in the world and 7^th in The Embassy 3 for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring zero on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.