The Woot woot woot I feel free of Cerb is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Dr Cerberus T Dawg with an iron fist, and remarkable for its unlimited-speed roads, anti-smoking policies, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 24.216 billion Cerbadeedoodahs are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt government prioritizes Law & Order, although Defense, Spirituality, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of the Dawg pound. The average income tax rate is 55.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Cerblicious economy, worth a remarkable 3,868 trillion smileys a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, and Information Technology. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 159,744 smileys, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Politicians preface their speeches with a declaration that any resemblance to speeches given by individuals living or dead is purely coincidental, apprentice builders get teased for wearing hard hats, blind students are at a disadvantage now that test papers printed in braille have been discontinued, and preschools put children down for naps with milk, cookies, and a gruesome story of vengeance. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cerb's national animal is the fluffy little puppy, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is 24th day Dawgist.

Cerb is ranked 11,081^st in the world and 68^th in 10000 Islands for Most Corrupt Governments, with 146.09 kickbacks per hour.