The Abandoned ExNation of Cornessee is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Old King Corni Corn Corn Corn with an iron fist, and remarkable for its disturbing lack of elderly people, ban on automobiles, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 14.867 billion Cornesseeans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cobb. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 76.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Cornesseean economy, worth a remarkable 1,180 trillion Cornessee coins a year, is quite specialized and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Information Technology, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is 79,375 Cornessee coins, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 287,040 per year while the poor average 15,664, a ratio of 18.3 to 1.

Cornesseeans are regularly fired for looking at MyFace during their lunch breaks, candlelit dinners are less romantic with a flickering LED, slaves aren't half the men they used to be, and hospitals fear government fines more than terrorist ransoms. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cornessee's national animal is the Cornessee Swan, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Cornchipist Fundamentalists.

Cornessee is ranked 223,186^th in the world and 76^th in The Dudlands for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 761.79 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.