The Kingdom of Culof is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by King Andrew Yulyhasen II with an iron fist, and remarkable for its closed borders, ubiquitous missile silos, and prohibition of alcohol. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 15.126 billion Culofians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Industry, and Administration are also considered important, while Social Policy and Environment aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rechimen. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 63.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Culofian economy, worth a remarkable 2,293 trillion Rodins a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Basket Weaving. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 151,615 Rodins, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 920,426 per year while the poor average 11,113, a ratio of 82.8 to 1.

Citizens are abandoning their homes en masse in a widespread panic over asbestos, children who believe in the tooth fairy are frequently shipped off to Bigtopia, schoolyard sandboxes resemble ashtrays due to the large number of cigarette butts, and the newest shade developed by Culof's dye industry has been dubbed 'Agent Orange'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Culof's national animal is the Vesrih Boar, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Verdigrisism.

Culof is ranked 51,672^nd in the world and 23^rd in Barbaria for Lowest Crime Rates, with 73.7 law-abiding acts per hour.