The Kingdom of Dark-Land is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by King Bowser with an iron fist, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, frequent executions, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 4.651 billion Darklings are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order, Industry, and Administration also on the agenda, while Environment and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bowser Castle. The average income tax rate is 60.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Darkling economy, worth a remarkable 1,249 trillion Gold Coins a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Retail, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 268,754 Gold Coins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.4 times as much as the poorest.

Pollution is on the rise along with government approvals of fracking projects, hospitals fear government fines more than terrorist ransoms, netizens fiercely argue over who loves King Bowser more, and you need a signed affidavit from a registered psychiatrist to claim that you have crazy low prices. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. Dark-Land's national animal is the Chain Chomp, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Dark-Land is ranked 310,219^th in the world and 14^th in Valkia for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring -20 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.