The Union of East Giathio is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Premier Deren Vyiuk with an iron fist, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, frequent executions, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 3.546 billion Eastern Giathians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality and Welfare receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Vorkenovostok. The average income tax rate is 41.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but sluggish East Giathian economy, worth 101 trillion Eastern gnyoplas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 28,516 Eastern gnyoplas, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Children are brutally beaten for saying gyatt and skibidi, retirees make up the bulk of foreign students, homeless people dying of starvation are thought to be a necessary cost of preventing terrorism, and daisy chain gangs plant flowers and pick up litter. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. East Giathio's national animal is the crow, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Communism.

East Giathio is ranked 188,703^rd in the world and 4^th in The Great Sound for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 19.81 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.