The Free Land of Eco Guardian is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Mother Earth with an iron fist, and remarkable for its flagrant waste-dumping, strictly enforced bedtime, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 15.728 billion Eco Guardianians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Administration, although Industry, Healthcare, and Defense are also considered important, while International Aid and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nature is no city. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 66.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Eco Guardianian economy, worth a remarkable 3,276 trillion dollars a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Retail, Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 208,314 dollars, with the richest citizens earning 5.7 times as much as the poorest.

Death compensation has some family members fearing to pay back others' debt they may be disappearing, computers are widely considered to be the "devil magic of heathens", chests full of green leaves dumped into the harbor have many murmuring against the government, and people are turning themselves into worm food. Crime is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Eco Guardian's national animal is the unicorn, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Environmentalism.

Eco Guardian is ranked 288,892^nd in the world and 1^st in Eco for Most Beautiful Environments, with 2.91 pounds of wildlife per square mile.