The Republic of Elwana is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Orelov Victus with an even hand, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, smutty television, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, cheerful population of 10.84 billion Elwañolas have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kyecov en el Río. The average income tax rate is 39.8%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Elwañole economy, worth a remarkable 1,764 trillion Boshkas a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 162,773 Boshkas, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

NPCs in MMORPGs regularly interrupt cutscenes with OOC reminders that they aren't real people, children asking questions about science are referred to relevant sections in religious texts, the nation is noticeably more cheerful on Tuesdays, and hedge fund managers are diversifying into herbaceous borders. Crime is totally unknown. Elwana's national animal is the Wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christian Orthodox.

Elwana is ranked 276,194^th in the world and 794^th in 10000 Islands for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring -11.83 on the Clooney Contribution Index.