The Military State of Email is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Generalissimo Wilhelm Gustafson with an iron fist, and renowned for its zero percent divorce rate, public floggings, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 5.399 billion Emailians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Industry, and Administration also on the agenda, while Environment and International Aid aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Purovo. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 65.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Emailian economy, worth a remarkable 1,108 trillion Bitcoins a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Information Technology, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 205,237 Bitcoins, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,132,869 per year while the poor average 18,787, a ratio of 60.3 to 1.

Everybody's got wood thanks to Generalissimo Wilhelm Gustafson, savvy students quote paywalled research knowing that university lecturers can't afford to check the citations, foreign planes and migratory birds are shot down as spies, and the navy's new flotilla is gonna be a thrilla. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Email's national animal is the Horse, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Orthodox Christianity.

Email is ranked 32,929^th in the world and 32^nd in The Brotherhood of Malice for Lowest Crime Rates, with 81.04 law-abiding acts per hour.