The Republic of Eouia is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by Doctor O'Hara with an even hand, and remarkable for its burgeoning elephant population. The hard-nosed population of 16.753 billion Eouians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social and economic equality; they tend to view other countries as corrupted by the hollow pageantry of sham elections.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Welfare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Giraffeburg. The average income tax rate is 31.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Eouian economy, worth 500 trillion marks a year, is quite specialized and led by the Cheese Exports industry, with major contributions from Automobile Manufacturing, Furniture Restoration, and Retail. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 29,846 marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Sports journals are full of uplifting puff-pieces on professional boxers, the country is governed by a clique of political insiders known colloquially as The Establishment, the election for Doctor O'Hara's office's janitor is heating up, and many in Eouia are born in the purple. Crime is well under control, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Eouia's national animal is the elephant and its national religion is Magik.

Eouia is ranked 290,987^th in the world and 14^th in The Academy for Most Scientifically Advanced, scoring -40 on the Kurzweil Singularity Index.