Population | 27.501 billion |
Capital | Nazareth |
Leader | Charlton Heston |
Faith | TedNugentism |
Currency | Duckie |
Animal | double breasted mattress thrasher |
The 27 Billion Shameless S O B's of FASTERCAT is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Charlton Heston with an even hand, and renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, frequent executions, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cheerful, devout population of 27.501 billion Ethnic Felines have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.
The minute, corrupt government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Nazareth. Income tax is unheard of.
The frighteningly efficient FASTERCATian economy, worth a remarkable 7,839 trillion Duckies a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Book Publishing, and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 285,071 Duckies, with the richest citizens earning 5.9 times as much as the poorest.
Charlton Heston has been seen stealthily slicing fifths off bread loaves, the name of the "Butcher of Bigtopia" adorns shirts across FASTERCAT, coffee-addicted citizens look forward to baristas getting their name wrong at local coffee shops, and schoolboys who turn to watch pretty girls go by are given detention. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. FASTERCAT's national animal is the double breasted mattress thrasher, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is TedNugentism.
FASTERCAT is ranked 43,935th in the world and 43rd in Capitalist Paradise for Most Stationary, with 1,006.68207794528 days.
National Happenings
Most Recent Government Activity:
- : Following new legislation in FASTERCAT, schoolboys who turn to watch pretty girls go by are given detention.
- : Following new legislation in FASTERCAT, coffee-addicted citizens look forward to baristas getting their name wrong at local coffee shops.
- : Following new legislation in FASTERCAT, the name of the "Butcher of Bigtopia" adorns shirts across FASTERCAT.
- : Following new legislation in FASTERCAT, Charlton Heston has been seen stealthily slicing fifths off bread loaves.
- : Following new legislation in FASTERCAT, ghost regiments exist only on paper.
- : Following new legislation in FASTERCAT, nations across the world are quick to praise Charlton Heston's good looks and intellectual prowess.
- : Following new legislation in FASTERCAT, mandatory state-funded classes teach Libertarianism.
- : Following new legislation in FASTERCAT, gigantic marble churches take up almost half the land area of small villages.
- : Following new legislation in FASTERCAT, a soldier's body is a temple.
- : Following new legislation in FASTERCAT, the men in trenchcoats hanging around playgrounds are actually police officers.