The Commonwealth and Outer Isles of Garchyland is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by R Jonas Newfenheimer with a fair hand, and notable for its national health service, frequent executions, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 36.225 billion Garchylandians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, outspoken government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cortlandia. The average income tax rate is 98.7%.

The thriving Garchy economy, worth a remarkable 4,486 trillion Garchets a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Book Publishing industry. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 123,843 Garchets, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Jennifer Government is a bestseller, many whiskies taste suspiciously like automobile radiators, census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate, and drills and shovels have been banned as the government cracks down on any means of fracking. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Garchyland's national animal is the Penguin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Garchyland is ranked 284,615^th in the world and 33^rd in A Liberal Haven for Most Corrupt Governments, with 0.58 kickbacks per hour.