The Empire of Ever Testing is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Smog Wawelski with an iron fist, and remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, anti-smoking policies, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 5.34 billion Ever Testians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government is dominated by the Department of Industry, with Education, Environment, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while International Aid and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Wawel. The average income tax rate is 69.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ever Testingian economy, worth a remarkable 1,356 trillion obwarzaneks a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, Tourism, and Trout Farming. Average income is an amazing 254,001 obwarzaneks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Legislators toe the party line lest the Sergeant-at-Arms decide to conduct "truncheon practice" on the backbench, Super Barry Brothers is the most popular video game in the nation, new mothers can pay for their weekly grocery shop with a bottle of breast milk, and the government is suspected of mass disappearing dissidents both at home and abroad. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Ever Testing's national animal is the lagun, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Church of Mighty Yeast.

Ever Testing is ranked 53,946^th in the world and 937^th in the South Pacific for Most Patriotic, with 25.87 flags saluted per person per day.