The Wormland of Hardtack is a colossal, safe nation, notable for its otherworldly petting zoo, parental licensing program, and compulsory gun ownership. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 2.511 billion Hardtackians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Worm Castle. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 45.4%.

The powerhouse Hardtackian economy, worth 219 trillion Anything other than hardtacks a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Trout Farming, and Basket Weaving. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 87,271 Anything other than hardtacks, with the richest citizens earning 7.7 times as much as the poorest.

When shaking hands with foreign leaders Leader wears an armoured gauntlet, the tools of the trade for landmine clearance appear to be copious amounts of gasoline and a box of matches, gun ownership is compulsory, and the urinary fragrance of seedier establishments is thankfully hidden by the smell of stale smoke. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Hardtack's national animal is the Worm, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Hardtack is ranked 282,355^th in the world and 9^th in Realm of Baked Goods for Largest Insurance Industry, scoring -9.43 on the Risk Expulsion Effectiveness Rating.