The Sexy Funland of Hetairaea is a titanic, cultured nation, ruled by President Gwen Matisch with a fair hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, keen interest in outer space, and smutty television. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 16.078 billion Hetairaeans live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The tiny, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Shangri-La. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 25.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Hetairaean economy, worth a remarkable 6,936 trillion Sauces a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 431,420 Sauces, with the richest citizens earning 5.8 times as much as the poorest.

The restriction that you must be over 1.1 metres tall to ride a carnotaurus has recently been waived, the economy is green and the air is black, the sound of office water cooler chatter has been replaced by the whirring of computer cooling fans, and census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate. Crime is totally unknown. Hetairaea's national animal is the Succubus, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is communal loving.

Hetairaea is ranked 2,922^nd in the world and 1^st in Project Snowscape for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring 13,894.65 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.