The Alcatraz Prison Blues of Jail is a titanic, orderly nation, notable for its complete lack of prisons, compulsory military service, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 22.755 billion Jailbirds are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The large, pro-business, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Defense, and Healthcare. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 46.4%.

The thriving in Jail economy, worth a remarkable 1,233 trillion cigarettes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Cheese Exports, and Soda Sales. Average income is 54,206 cigarettes, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 183,849 per year while the poor average 11,798, a ratio of 15.6 to 1.

Scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes, the government awards prizes to television shows featuring stereotype-breaking minority roles, Harry Potter books are banned, and euthanasia is illegal. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Jail's national animal is the prison rat.

Jail is ranked 88,885^th in the world and 2^nd in Alcatraz for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 1,068.76 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.