The Idiotic Cesspool of Juristonia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Juri with a fair hand, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, anti-smoking policies, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 33.657 billion Juristonians love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The large, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Social Policy, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Juritopia. The average income tax rate is 98.3%.

The thriving Juristonian economy, worth a remarkable 8,075 trillion Dust Bunnies a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Cheese Exports, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 239,921 Dust Bunnies, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

If there's something strange in your neighborhood you call Brancaland, passive-aggressive congratulations cards inform mums-to-be that their pregnancy is their greatest achievement in life, a child's only Trickster Night scare is the sight of their parents dancing, and incarcerated crime lords manage their empires from massage tables. Crime is totally unknown. Juristonia's national animal is the Human, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Juristonia is ranked 280,753^rd in the world and 230^th in Nederland for Most Primitive, scoring -350.27 on the Scary Big Number Scale.