The State of Kolonier is a gargantuan, pleasant nation, ruled by the Governor with an even hand, and renowned for its irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 16.517 billion Kolonierians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Capital Heights. The average income tax rate is 12.3%.

The strong Kolonierian economy, worth 703 trillion betales a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Door-to-door Insurance Sales, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Furniture Restoration. Average income is 42,586 betales, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.0 times as much as the poorest.

The price of takeaway food quadruples after 6pm, historical fiction has been banned, high food prices have reduced the national diet to staple foods and water, and newspapers cannot report anything about politicians without their explicit consent. Crime is moderate. Kolonier's national animal is the deer.

Kolonier is ranked 78,562^nd in the world and 3^rd in Seoul for Most Primitive, scoring 29.66 on the Scary Big Number Scale.