The Kingdom of Loango is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Sosthène Franck with an iron fist, and remarkable for its frequent executions, strictly enforced bedtime, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 15.318 billion Loangoans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Buali. The average income tax rate is 3.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Loangoan economy, worth a remarkable 3,061 trillion Francs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Soda Sales. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an impressive 199,841 Francs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.3 times as much as the poorest.

Women no longer need to pepper conversations with incessant references to fictitious husbands, the minority party is vilified for everything from fires to earthquakes, charity workers dole out hardtack from behind designer sunglasses, and satellite images show safe electoral constituencies in complete darkness. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Loango's national animal is the Crowned Eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Loango is ranked 290,651^st in the world and 3^rd in Corfu for Lowest Crime Rates, with 26.48 law-abiding acts per hour.