The City of Malabon is a mammoth, socially progressive nation, remarkable for its compulsory military service, irreverence towards religion, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 7.573 billion Malabonians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order, Industry, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Spirituality and International Aid receive no funds. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.9%.

The strong Malabonian economy, worth 388 trillion pesos a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Pizza Delivery industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Furniture Restoration, and Soda Sales. Average income is 51,258 pesos, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 330,367 per year while the poor average 3,213, a ratio of 102 to 1.

Crime is a serious problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Malabon's national animal is the eagle.

Malabon is ranked 14,750^th in the world and 1^st in Malabon for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 5,482.69 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.