The Phoenix-Human Aviandom of Malalonius is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by King Mal and Lady Hawaa with an even hand, and renowned for its teetotalling pirates, national health service, and prohibition of alcohol. The compassionate, cheerful, devout population of 4.939 billion Malalonians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Dubai. The average income tax rate is 92.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Malalonian economy, worth 660 trillion Dhahabs a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Basket Weaving, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 133,763 Dhahabs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Crowds of flag-burning protesters tend to accidentally become crowds of burning protesters, the government has spread itself thin, beaches are empty as the shark population multiplies exponentially, and no one questions why the chicken crossed the road anymore. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Malalonius's national animal is the Malalonian Phoenix, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Sunni Islam.

Malalonius is ranked 5,337^th in the world and 2^nd in Hells Lounge for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 8,031.58 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.