The Federation of Malarkea is a very large, safe nation, notable for its museums and concert halls, smutty television, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 375 million Malarkeans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Batavia. The average income tax rate is 50.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Malarkean economy, worth 34.0 trillion Guilders a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Average income is 90,628 Guilders, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Laser-wielding robots are taking aim at human hearts, convicted felons are forced into slavery for their crimes, mantis shrimp studies is academia's fastest-growing field, and politicians tend to speak more loudly and slowly these days. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Malarkea's national animal is the Black Panther, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Malarkea is ranked 112,832^nd in the world and 61^st in Eurth for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 724.26 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.