The Republic of Middle Witeopia is a titanic, efficient nation, remarkable for its closed borders, barren, inhospitable landscape, and strictly enforced bedtime. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 21.572 billion Middle Witeopians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Middle Witeopia City. The average income tax rate is 87.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Middle Witeopian economy, worth a remarkable 5,076 trillion baht a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Retail, Uranium Mining, Furniture Restoration, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 235,330 baht, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Autumn landscape paintings feature men stripping leaves from bare branches with a vacuum, the government is dead set on letting people rest in peace, radio shows frequently feature people denouncing religion, and the nation's weary schoolchildren excel at sport but must count scores on their fingers. Crime is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Middle Witeopia's national animal is the swan, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Middle Witeopia is ranked 5,201^st in the world and 3^rd in St Abbaddon for Highest Poor Incomes, with 162,090.31 Standard Monetary Units.