The Democratic Republic of New Bulacan is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by President Wally Hernandez with a fair hand, and renowned for its otherworldly petting zoo, complete lack of prisons, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic population of 4.389 billion New Bulacanians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Malolos City. The average income tax rate is 95.0%.

The frighteningly efficient New Bulacanian economy, worth 731 trillion New Bulacanian Pesos a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 166,572 New Bulacanian Pesos, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Babies are a small but significant export, the national colors help to make everyone look slimmer, physics lessons mostly involve talking about emotional management techniques, and the government is washing its hands of alleged corruption. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. New Bulacan's national animal is the New Bulacanian Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Christianity.

New Bulacan is ranked 5,639^th in the world and 145^th in the South Pacific for Most Cheerful Citizens, with 59.06 Percentage Of Water Glasses Perceived Half-Full.