The Salt Mines of Native Tears is a titanic, orderly nation, remarkable for its frequent executions, restrictive gun laws, and stringent health and safety legislation. The cynical population of 22.477 billion Wardens are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Environment, Law & Order, and Defense. The average income tax rate is 48.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The large but underdeveloped Native Tearsian economy, worth 472 trillion Tears a year, is quite specialized and led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Gambling, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 20,999 Tears, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Political activists are routinely executed. Crime is well under control, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Native Tears's national animal is the Griffon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Native Tears is ranked 127,071^st in the world and 2^nd in Epizephyrian locris for Most Cultured, scoring 64 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.