The Free State of New Chezlovia is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Papa Fenrir with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, free-roaming dinosaurs, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 19.629 billion Chezlovians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The relatively small, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Spirituality, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Litayxis. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 20.5%.

The all-consuming Chezlovian economy, worth a remarkable 1,854 trillion Krown-Guilders a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Gambling, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is notable. Average income is 94,501 Krown-Guilders, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 302,493 per year while the poor average 22,410, a ratio of 13.5 to 1.

The Treasury has been accused of flushing money down the toilet, the practice of capital punishment proves divisive, the suicide rate mysteriously skyrockets during census years, and black market eau de toilette is made in bathroom labs across the nation. Crime is a problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. New Chezlovia's national animal is the Phoenix, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Europanism.

New Chezlovia is ranked 174,094^th in the world and 9^th in Fourth Karpati Pact for Highest Poor Incomes, with 22,410.7 Standard Monetary Units.